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As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember .......

 
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As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember .......
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gruven_98
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Joined: 11 May 2006
Posts: 233



Post As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember .......  Reply with quote
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite."

13. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

_________________
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy Shit... What a ride"!
Wed Aug 02, 2006 10:13 am View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
fxgolf
Senior Member


Joined: 12 May 2006
Posts: 1162


Location: this side of hell

Post Re: As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember ....... Reply with quote
gruven_98 wrote:


8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.



that so counts as cleaning the whole house.



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madness in a can of spam.
Wed Aug 02, 2006 10:32 pm View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
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